Awakenings – Orig Published August 31, 2006

*I am here and preparing interesting things for you to read… in the meantime, check out one of my first blogs… it’s got me thinking I need to go back in my original direction. That came so much easier to me.*

~When does one really awaken?  Is it the first opening flickers of their eyelids, greeting a new day?  Is it the regret after karma releases her fury on them?  Is it when they hold a baby for the first time?  Is it when they fall on an altar and pray to whichever god to cleanse them and show them the way?  I guess it is different for everyone… the moment when there is such clarity and calm that it is almost frightening.
For me?  Well, my awakening came with turning 25 and realizing that Father Time was stomping 4 inch stilettos on my toes (don’t ask me why… ask him).  I’m not old or past my prime as I often joke.  But I’m not a little girl… Situations are only getting more difficult and life is only demanding more of me.  There is nothing more deafening than a clock’s tick sometimes…  each sound, a second you’ll never get back… every sunset, the death of a day.  A lifetime is not nearly enough time to do all the things most people want to do.  That being the case, to waste any significant part of it doing things you shouldn’t or don’t want to and not doing things you should or desire to is to rob yourself of breath.

Self respect and self confidence are great things.  Paired with a good mind, or at the very least a good work ethic, they can make ANYBODY successful.  But without self-gratification, a person cannot be whole.  Self gratification can be something as seemingly small as buying a new tube of lipstick or something extravagant such as taking a cruise or bashing around Paris.  However, these are occasional indulgences.  They hardly soothe one’s soul from the battering of day to day life.

There are, however, ways to help ourselves every day.  Small things we wouldn’t think of, much less do. TACTFULLY telling someone when we are angry or displeased  is one of them.  We generally bottle up feelings of dismay and wait for them to explode or worse yet, break us completely down.  All of this when a simple conversation would have sufficed…. even if for no other reason than to have gotten it out.  We should do ourselves that favor.

On the other hand, telling someone that we appreciate them or love them can be equally as gratifying.  This brings about a positive energy that can help us make it through the next 24 hours (even if the rest of it is shitty).  Giving gifts also falls into the “positive energy’ category.

Don’t be afraid to say “no”.  When I was growing up. it seemed like my mama agreed to everything (except what I wanted at the time).  We were always at church and she was always doing special projects and, well, she just never said “no” even when she wanted to.  While doing things for other people is wonderful, and it really does make you feel good, there are times when it is okay to say no. The church won’t burn down if you don’t teach Sunday school.  The picnic won’t be called off because you don’t want to make the potato salad.  The world WON’T stop spinning because you passed up yet another responsibility.

Get a mirror.  Look in it everyday.  Tell yourself how wonderful you are.  Compliment yourself on a physical feature or character trait that you like about yourself.  Smile at you.  It sounds silly and you’ll feel crazy doing it.  But it may be the only compliment you get all day.  After awhile, other people’s compliments, while nice, won’t really matter.

The best thing we can do?  Be totally honest with ourselves.  It can be the most painful thing in the world at times.  But accepting it and acting on it are the BEST things we can do for ourselves. It would appear that we are born with rose-colored glasses.  Most of us go through life with them on all of the time while a select few broke them so long ago that stoicism and stiffness engulfs them.  There has to be a happy-medium.  When things are beyond your control, keep those glasses in your pocket. To see anything other than what’s coming at you is a recipe for disaster. But, if you have a handle on things, wear those rose-tinted stunnas all day. You can see things however you want to because you have the power to make them that way.