Time to Lose Control

This is my Mickey Mouse pancake. I’ve never been more proud of anything in my life. 

So, in light of the Manic Monday Mayhem I’ve been experiencing, I thought it would be a good idea to remind myself (and whomever else may need to know) about the importance of giving up control. This does not mean sitting idly by and watching life happen. It simply means to understand yourself, your limits, and the fact that you are not God. I mean, you are important, don’t get me wrong. But all-seeing and doing? Not hardly.

Being so hip to social media and all, I see these moms who go to all the kids’ soccer games — 8 kids in some cases. They make boutique bakery quality gluten-free delights for the PTA bake sale. They MacGuyver old milk jugs, barbed wire, and kitty litter into some amazing craft creation. They are ever-patient when their well-manicured brood behaves badly. They are cut out to do this… and I am not. At least that’s how I feel sometimes.

It’s like high school all over again. The pressure is on to be the perfect mom. I find myself breaking my neck, back, and bank account trying to do things I really don’t have to (and/or CAN’T). I wanna hang with the cool Martha Stewart moms talking appetizers and mod podge. I want to scrapbook and cook dinner and still be able to play Candyland when the dishes are washed and put away. I want to buy only organic food and all natural fibers. I want to give my kids the absolute best.

Truth is, my best appetizer isn’t cooked and involves tuna.. oh yeah, tuna. I only use craft glue to fix fallen hems and my scrapbook is a manila folder with some stuff thrown in in something that may or may not be chronological order. The clean dishes only leave the rack to be used and occasionally a chicken nugget happens. Even with all these shortcomings I don’t doubt my children still receive the best. I don’t doubt that I’m a good mother. I don’t doubt their being amazing children as children are amazing by default.

I am not good at everything. I can only try to play up my strengths and use the gifts that God has given me. Everybody will not like me or what I do. I cannot control that — what matters most is my opinion of me. I will not necessarily like everyone or what they do. I cannot control that — I can only control how I choose to react to them. I cannot be everywhere (and who would want to be?) — I can prioritize and cut all the “extra” out of my life.

I cannot do everything — but I can do most anything and that is okay by me.



Clicked into Oblivion — A n00b’s Oopsy

Well. That was a hard lesson learned. I’d written a semi-alright post about my anniversary trip to Reno and posted it. Being so pleased with having made another post and all, I decided “I should clean out my drafts. If I’m going to do this I should be organized about it.” Hahaaaaaaaa!

So, as I’m checking drafts to delete, sonny boy starts awailin’ and on cue his sister joins in behind him. So I bring him to the computer to multi-task – ya know, rock him so he’ll take the nap he needs while I finish the seemingly simple task of deleting the, ohhhh I dunno, 5 drafts I had to delete.

So kids are bellowing, Mama’s rocking, Mama’s hitting delete, Sonny’s pulling Mama’s hair, Mama’s CONFIRMING DELETE… and seeing post list… and seeing… OMG. No, no no no, this can’t be right! It is! I manage to keep the stream of expletives from running down my brainstem and out my mouth. Still unable to really grasp what’s happening, I search for a fix. There is none – MMM is S.O.L. *side note: just grabbed sonny boy again only to have him throw up on me. Motherhood J

At any rate, I learned a few valuable lessons:

1.       Save a copy of your post somewhere else, genius. Kind of a given, I s’pose.

2.       Grab the permalink too. It could have saved my behind if I’d had it.

3.       DOUBLE and TRIPLE check before you confirm delete. You, even in all your awesomeness, can make a silly mistake too.

I will rewrite the Reno post later and it will be even better… but still, I vow to do everything I possibly can to avoid this in the future. For now, we’ll laugh this one off and call it a rookie mistake. I refuse to stress over it – ain’t nobody got time for that!



A Little Insider Info

I am Kristin – a reformed party girl, a good-natured smart alec, a free spirit.  I am a light-hearted deep thinker; a hopeful cynic.  I believe in love affairs with truffles, stilettos, and Syrah.  I’m not the best at cooking, but I do try since I know that food, music, friendship and laughter can soothe most any ailment. I live in California but my roots are still planted in Tennessee
I am a woman, an American.  I am a friend and sister.  I am a wife and daughter.

Being a mother is more wonderful than I could have ever imagined.  However, being a mother leaves little time for wholly experiencing and being all the other things that define who I am.  There’s nothing wrong with living for your child, I don’t think.  But how do you maintain your identity OUTSIDE of “Mommy”?

I am learning to balance being a Mommy with being Kristin.  I am finding little pleasures in the moments I have to myself.  I am celebrating victories of every kind on a daily basis.  I can’t wait to share all of this with you!