Wordless Wednesday – March 5, 2014

What they do when I’m not looking…


Five Easy Ways to Make Your Husband Happy

First we fell in love… now we grow in love.

Minute Made Papa and I have been married for 6 years now. It’s not a record by any means, but it is something we are proud of and something we work at daily to maintain. In the beginning, it wasn’t that hard. We were still floating on the honeymoon high and the reality of the effort involved hadn’t really sunk in yet. (Sidenote: there are people who say a marriage shouldn’t be work but if you ask their partners you’ll find out that it is work and thus know who in that relationship has been doing most of it.) Anyway, fast forward to now, two children more, one income less, and five years later, and we’re finding that we are just as in love as we ever were but we have to consciously make time and opportunities to show and share that love. Is it worth it? Of course. Can you do it? Absolutely. Follow these tips and he’ll fall in love all over again:

1. Lighten Up

Ladies, we can get so wrapped up in working, running the house, and living such a serious life that we often forget to laugh at the little things. I know, I know. Some of those laughable moments are super inconvenient but learning to laugh at them will help ease stress and tension for both of you. Next time you leave the house in houseshoes, or you undercook the pasta, or go to the store with hidden spit-up on your shirt , try to see the humor in the situation. Laughing makes you happy… and seeing you happy makes him happy.

2. Disagree Agreeably

He said this. You said that. Now your pulse is racing and you are literally seconds from leaping across the bed and clawing his eyes out. Instead of yelling, being sarcastic or mean (or worse yet, silent) try to see his side of things. If you need a moment to calm down, by all means take one but make sure you come back and resolve the issue. It is much easier to work towards a solution together if you maintain a cool head and he’s much more willing to compromise and apologize if you play nice.

3. Wait Until the Game is Over

This is ultimately “me time” but in man talk it translates to “The Game” or in this house, “The Race.” Though he may not often complain he does need his own time at home. We girls usually sneak into a long hot bath but guys? They watch the game (or for gamers, they play it). Don’t disturb them. Let them be. If calling 911 isn’t involved it is not enough of an emergency to interrupt his game. This act has a high rate of return. Usually after “The Game” he’ll be willing to watch The Notebook, or go across town to get the key lime cupcake you like…. or later on do that other thing you like. Quid pro quo. Works well.

4. Be Honest

Your husband is many things. A mind reader, he is not. We often assume that our mates should “just know” what we like or “just know” what to do.  I mean it’s not rocket science right? Wrong. Men and women are wired differently and process information differently. In addition, while you and your husband may share the same core values and beliefs, you are two separate people with your own identities and feelings. If you are upset or in need, tell him. If you don’t speak up, you cannot be upset that he didn’t obey your unexpressed wishes.

5. Take the First Step

It’s pretty rare that you see a love scene where a woman just kinda pounces on a guy. Just doesn’t generally happen. There has always been this idea of a woman always being the object of desire. Truth is, your fella needs to feel desired. He appreciates you offering a back rub or foot rub. He’s waiting for you to inch over to his side of the bed. He’s dying for you to initiate contact. Do that. He just might return that attention in other ways if you give it a shot.

There are so many more I can think of but I think this is a great and easy starting point. They cost you no money and not really much time. All they require is that you be aware of yourself and your mate. Relationships take work on both ends but I think we can all agree that anything worth having is worth working for.



Twas the Week Before Christmas…

And I couldn’t be happier to see it coming. I am really quite surprised as I haven’t been a fan of Christmas for most of my adult life. To me it was a cruel reminder of how things in my family had changed. I didn’t like to think about how far apart we were or how some of us weren’t in the greatest health or worse yet… some of us were no longer here at all. The holidays were more bittersweet than sweet… the tears weren’t of the joyous variety anymore. There was a genuine sadness and I longed for the days where life was simpler and we were all together.
Now She is here. 
And she has managed to bring new wonder and breathe new life into the holiday season. I am so excited to create the type of magic and happiness that I knew all my life growing up. I am so anxious to see the expressions on her little face – to see one of those sweet smiles as she sees the lights, and opens her gifts, and tastes the delicious goodies this time of year always seems to bring.
I am so grateful to her for reviving my spirit of hope and faith – my appreciation for the beauty in all things… something I thought was lost forever. And while I will always miss those in my family that aren’t here to celebrate with us, I am overjoyed with being able to start new traditions and tell her all the stories of when I was a little girl and Christmas at her great-grandma’s back in Memphis. Some people may be gone, and things and places may not be the same but the memories and our loved ones will live on through me and through her. As long as we have those, we will always be home…we will always be loved.

Okay… So I’m Not Martha Stewart

I never thought it could happen, but I do long to be “that” chick. You know. The one whose dip is ALWAYS soooooo good. I want to have those neat household tips and know all the great recipes.  I want to be able to tell you what will get that stain out or what fabrics are best for this time of year.  I’d like to throw one helluva bash on a tiny budget.  I want to know the difference between periwinkle and cornflower. I’d kill to twirl about my kitchen in a fun, frilly apron, singing while I chop veggies like a pro (cue the syrupy sweet music and Disney variety blubirds).

Okay, maybe that’s a bit extreme but it’s MY dream. Besides, it is currently out of reach. The sad fact of the matter is that my cakes are never even. No matter how I think I’ve sorted laundry, every few weeks there’s a pink load. I rarely find multiple uses for cans or cups or wrappers or tubes. I’m no seamstress either. Truth be told, I am surprised I’ve not stitched myself to the machine while mending socks. I don’t grow or pick my own anything — my fear of all things crawly prohibits that. And I am more than certain that fitted sheets are tools of the devil. The only way to fold them is to sell your soul. 

I never used to really think about these things before. It was just me and Sean – minimal mess, minimal stress. But having been a stay at home mom for the past year, I’ve realized I’ve much to learn about all things domestic. I’d be lying if I said that this didn’t sometimes get me down. My husband works and for now, it is my job to take care of home. I just don’t feel like I’m very good at it… and I’m not. However, I am a great mommy and I’ve become a better wife.

It’s safe to say that I won’t be winning any awards for my housekeeping or baking in the near future. Apparently, being a minute-made-mama takes longer than a minute. I just count my blessings and know I am lucky to have a husband who eats my lopsided cakes,  politely sneaks my “not-quite-done” chicken back into the oven,  and folds his once-white-but-now-rather-pink underthings without a single complaint.  Sad, I know… but I’m working on it. Until I get it right, I will find joy in doing all I can to keep our home happy, healthy, and full of love. I’ll celebrate my small victories. The rest? Well….. it will work itself out in time.