Buying the Body Beautiful: Plastic Surgery is Calling My Name

Some things in life you can't fix. Others, you can!

Some things in life you can’t fix. Others, you can!

Let me begin by saying that I would have never in a million years thought that I would ever want to have plastic surgery done. Prior to my pregnancies I had a body that I was really proud of. Don’t get me wrong… it wasn’t perfect. I had a tad bit of a belly and no matter the amount of walking I did or do, I have thighs that have their own agenda. My BMI was never what it should be. But even so, I was still happy with my body. When my clothes came off, even the imperfections were in proportion and I loved it. I loved my flawed self.

Fast forward four years, two pregnancies, and several breast infections later. Genetics has not been on my side. Gravity has not been on my side. In fact, the only things that have consistently been on my sides are my breasts. Go figure. And while I lost my tummy bulge fairly quickly the skin it left behind resembles an elephant leg. Don’t laugh. It literally looks like an elephant leg. I realize I might sound silly complaining about these things… but I am finding that the change in my body has really effected my self-esteem and confidence.

So, I’m going to check into a full on mommy package not because I’m vain, but because I want to feel like me again. My “motherhood” body has made me a different person — one that begs for mom jeans and oversized shirts and granny panties.  But the real me, the one inside, wants to be able to look in the mirror and not feel totally changed and deflated. I want to look in the mirror and think, “hey, she’s kinda hot!” I want to honor this body that housed and grew two fabulous children. I want to restore it. And maybe, just maybe some of that fire in me will return too.



Frankenbooby and Commercials – Ten Things That Make Me Cry

In honor of National Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk Day (yes, that is also a thing), this week’s Tuesday Ten link up is all about things that make me cry. Some of them are happy tears. Some are tears of sadness. But these things will absolutely, positively, 100% turn on the water works on this girl.

1. Commercials with Sarah Mclachlan singing
You know the ones. Misty shots of caged puppies shivering in the rain. A kitten playfully bats her paw at the camera. Sarah’s haunting voice dares you to turn away. Seven seconds into this commercial and my face is wet with tears — my mind wondering what those poor animals must be feeling and my heart breaking for the loving home they should have known. I haven’t quite dialed to give yet… but I should.

2. Imitation of Life
This is a wonderful old movie about the relationship between a mother and her daughter. It is also a movie that looks into the more complex problems caused by racism in that era (not that the same issues don’t exist). All in all, an extremely fair-skinned mixed daughter shuns her black mother… and the black mother selflessly bows out to allow her daughter a chance at happiness. I won’t give it all away, but I TRIPLE DOG DARE you to watch this movie without bawling your eyes out. You’ll cry. You’ll cry and you’ll call your mom and tell her you love her. That will be about as far as the conversation gets. You’ll be too emotional to continue.

Imitation of Life Trailer

3. Sonograms
Baby toes are awesome. They are 10x more awesome on an ultrasound screen for some reason. I will never forget watching my little girl in my belly, sucking her thumb and doing somersaults. Whenever I see pictures of my children’s ultrasounds I am immediately taken back to the time they were closest to me. I can’t help but cry (mostly tears of joy) when I look at them then and now. They are such miracles. And I took part in those miracles!

4. Chinese Hot Mustard
It is the most delicious self abuse possible. I can only really describe it as that. I don’t really get a chance to enjoy the food for battling the heat of the mustard, but I can’t help myself. I must always have hot mustard with my chinese food. Tears and snot aside, it’s the only way I can enjoy an egg roll.

5. When My Family Leaves
I love my family. My life is so full of energy and excitement (and happy stress) when I have them near. Every time they come to visit, I promise myself I won’t cry. But after I drop them off at the airport, I get halfway home before the lines on the road get blurry and I break my promise and weep. Some of them are so far! And I miss them all so much. Then I just think about the next time I will see them. That cheers me up… a little.

I  love my family.

6. Most Pixar films
Most children’t films have at least ONE point I want to blubber during. You can judge if you want but to me, that just means you have never seen Up or Toy Story.

7. Stubbing my toe
Cryin’ ain’t the only thing it makes me do. I am more than certain that there is a nerve that leads from the toe to the tears, jumping, and profanity parts of the brain. Sometimes it’s the bed but usually it’s a toy. I hit that toe hard enough and it is INSTANT wailing sailor. A good toe stubbing can reduce a grown man to tears so I don’t feel any shame in that one.

8. Breast Infections
I have been the victim of a number of weird physical ailments. The most notorious, however, would have to be a series of recurring breast infections I first got while I was 7 months pregnant with my daughter. I had a high fever and very sore breast which began to leak the most rancid fluid I’d ever smelled in my life… like it literally woke us out of our sleep. Anyway, turns out, I had a really bad breast abcess that had to be surgically removed and cleaned. I’ve had several since and yeah, they make me cry. The scars they’ve left also make me cry. I’m not a vain person per se, but I am not a fan of my poor mutilated bosom. It sucks but my husband doesn’t seem to mind Frankenboob. More importantly, the first infection was retained in my breast probably to protect the baby. My children are worth the hurt.

My last breast infection last year. Womp Womp

9. Church
It’s amazing to go into a place when you are feeling at your absolute lowest and emerge feeling like there is hope. There is something rejuvenating about being able to open your soul and allow the bad to leave and good to flow in. It is overwhelming to be surrounded by love. I often cry but it is only because I am so happy to be somewhere safe and free from worry.

10. Missing Memphis
I left my hometown 9 years ago this April. I don’t regret leaving. But I do miss Memphis a whole lot. I miss lighting bugs and smelling the moisture in the air. I miss the sound of katydids signaling the end of a summer day. I miss the very specific country dialect. I miss the barbeque. I miss what I know. I don’t cry about missing home as much as I used to but it still happens from time to time.

That sums it up I think. Just be grateful I’m not pregnant or this little list of things that make me cry would have been a novel. I’d like to thank Lisa of The Golden Spoons and Rabia from The Lieber Family for hosting this Tuesday Ten link up. Make sure to go and check out the other things that make them cry too!

The Golden Spoons

If I Could Have Ten Super Powers – Tuesday Ten

Moms, by definition, are super human. We can go for hours without food, days without sleep… we can swiftly maneuver around block towers and are adept at dodging spaghetti and sippy cups. And strength? Let’s just say I never saw Superman at 9 months pregnant

1. X-Ray Vision
I’d love to be able to peer through a wall and see if my son is climbing the curtains or if my daughter has decided to spontaneously disrobe. What I wouldn’t give to prevent the fall out from hijinx behind closed doors. I’m pretty good, but x-ray vision would make me great.

2. Super Speed
I do what I can, but I really wish I could do a lot more. There are only 24 hours in a day and I just can’t seem to squeeze it all in. I always feel like I’m going at full speed, but if I could go just a bit faster I could accomplish more.

3. Stop Time
Quite possibly the only way to solve the lack of time in a day is to simply stop while I accomplish what I need to. I could snatch the falling vase out of the air before it hits the ground. Or grab an extra hour of snuggles with my sleeping littles. Stopping time would be nice indeed.

4. Healing Ability
For when the flu strikes the whole house at the same time… for when Pressy bumps his noggin. I think all mothers wish they had the ability to take away the tiniest amounts of pain. I’m not sure how this power would effect first best friend betrayals, heartbreaks, or losing the big game. I just know I would love to be able to heal. There’s only one person in that business though so… a dream it will remain.

5. Super Stretch Arms
I cannot count the number of times I’ve left the wipes clear on the other side of the room. It is worse than no TP on the roll… worse than a swallow of milk in the carton. There are the wipes in plain sight – and I can’t reach them. Oh the humanity! With super stretch arms I could reach over to the counter and snatch them. But for now, I’ll have to half-way slap this diaper back on the kid and haul him over to the wipes so he doesn’t escape.

6. Invisibility
Aside from this being overall cool, it is a power most nosy people would go for. I wouldn’t say I’m nosy “per se.” I just like to be in the know *wink*. What are my kids really up to when they think I’m not around? What does Mama really think of my casserole? I would imagine I could learn a lot about other people and myself in the process. Growth through resentment formed while spying. There’s a superhero headed for a complex.

7. Ability to Fly
Um. So Who wouldn’t want to fly? I would simply take off from my porch — head west to the wineries or east to the snow. It would be so amazing to have a birds eye view of the mountains. There are some perks to valley living in Sacramento.

8. Telekinesis
How awesome and easy would housework be if it could be done with my mind. With just a thought toys would be put in boxes, cushions adjusted, pillows fluffed. Who am I kidding? I’d use it mostly just to neatly wind the vacuum cord back on the thingies.

9. Psychic Ability
I would love to be able to see what was coming next. The mommy in me needs to be prepared. NEEDS to have control. The truth is even if I had the psychic ability there are still some things I’d never be able to control. But I would maybe hit the lottery… just once… just for good measure.

10. Laser Eyes
Seems impractical… but imagine. Woodburning crafts, lighting birthday candles, renovation, bank robberies, lighting the fireplace, instant grilling, creme brulee torching, cat entertainment joy. Need I say more?

Alas, I am a mere mortal. However, I believe we all possess something super-human within us. Trials of life will test our strength. But our triumphs will prove we are heroes.

The Golden Spoons

No Whites Allowed – An MLK Day Tragedy

Martin Luther King Day – a day where we commemorate a man who worked tirelessly to bring about change in our great nation. It is a day where we are able to step back and reflect on how far we’ve come as a nation. It would also appear it reminds us of how far we have yet to go.

“So, the NAACP threw a big feast today. They gave our company meal vouchers, and asked that they only be handed out to Black folk. So, I just need someone to tell me how I should feel… Cuz right now, I’m hungry”

I was absolutely floored when I saw the above status on my friend’s page. It hurt me to my heart to see that an organization I have always equated to civil rights and equality for all  was DISCRIMINATING against non-blacks. In my mind (my very southern born and bred mind) it was wrong. It was no less wrong than refusing to serve blacks in the diners during the sit-ins of the 60’s. It was no less wrong than having different water fountains, bathrooms, train cars and days to attend the zoo in the Jim Crow South. It was no less wrong than the racism and segregation that we are supposed to be celebrating having overcome.

I must say that my friend is a great person. He did not post anything angry or rant about the injustice of it. Many people would have. I did. He was totally gracious about it though. That almost makes it even MORE frustrating that he was denied the opportunity to, as he put it, “… break bread with my friends because I’m not the right color…”.

I’ve heard the theories of how black people can’t “really be racist” because they are not in a position of power. I cannot say that I can agree as it is my opinion that anyone of any color can be racist. It’s just that without power your racism doesn’t count for very much. I certainly can’t see the exclusion of white people from a luncheon at a workplace (WHATEVER the occasion) as anything but racial discrimination.

There are those who will disagree with me and I will probably be called a name or two. But we cannot claim victory over racism in one hand while shocking it back to life with the other. I can only hope my poor starving friend got to eat eventually. I know next time he’s up this way, my black guilt and I will definitely buy him a burrito.