Hiding in Closets: Life with a Threenager

Even the sweetest of faces have tough days. My threenager ignoring me.

Even the sweetest of faces has tough days. My threenager ignoring me.

Every morning she pads across my kitchen, plops down in the chair and demands a Pop Tart. I get a barrage of no’s and I don’t wannu  (thanks to Caillou she says it with a Canadian accent) as I try and bargain with her to go potty first. She brushes her ringlets out of her face and asks to watch Spongebob while eating her breakfast. Defeated, I oblige,  then run back to my room to hide in the closet. I generally wouldn’t like this type of arrangement but right now I’ve got a “threenager” – and I’m scared to death of her.

People tell you about the terrible twos. They don’t warn you about the traumatic for every frickin body threes.  She is a wonderful child. But her independence is wearing me out. I knew one day she would “rage against the machine” and totally do the opposite of anything I asked. I thought that would be more like 9 years from now but it seems I was wrong. She’s as sassy, sarcastic, and sneaky as any fourteen year old I know. I think it is more a phase than her true personality. And sometimes I think, it just MUST be me.

I never thought I’d be the type of person to hide from my kids. After all, I’m the parent. I’m in control. What I am learning is that – I’m not in control. She has become her own little person and I have to share in that control, giving up more of it little by little, each and every day. Some things SHOULD be up for discussion with her. Some things she SHOULD have a say in. I was not really brought up on that school of thought so it is foreign to me.  But no two children are the same. What worked for me might not work for her so I have to try something different.  If I involve her in the decision making she will be more likely to make the right ones.

I also have to make a huge apology to the parents I’ve looked at with my nose turned up and thought, “Why can’t you control your kids?” After several rounds of prying fingers from candy shelves and hauling out screaming children instead of my groceries, I do get it. And I’m so so sorry. But maybe if we try something different, our little ones will too.


Things I Miss About Life in 2010 B.C.

Believe it or not, this used to be a living room. No seriously. 

My children are the most beautiful gifts ever given to me. They have made my life exciting and new. Raising them and loving them has given me a sense of purpose that I’ve never before known. Most people who have or have lived with small children know that they are an amazing sight to behold as they learn and grow. They can also tell you that there is a certain amount of sacrifice involved.

I love my babies and I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. But there are times where I miss life B.C… before child(ren). Nothing major. Just the small leisures that life B.C. held. I don’t spend much time thinking about them but here are the few pleasures I miss about life in 2010 BC:

1. I miss my living room. I miss being able to walk in it, through it, around it without hurting myself on a star shaped block or rolling to my near-death on an almost invisible light-up ball. I miss furniture and lamps. We’ve seen what Pres does to books (look here if you don’t know) so those are no longer there either. It’s their playroom… and while I love that they love it there, the interior designer in me cringes at the sight of baby gates. I may very well throw a full grown, woman tantrum if I break one more nail trying to pry out a socket cover. This too shall pass… thank goodness.

2. There is a remote. I have no control of it. If the television is on and the children are around, we are watching Sprout. I have come to love Sprout (with the exception of Caillou whom my daughter loves but we will discuss that later). I have managed to get temporary reign over our television through the recent discovery of Kidoodle.TV. It is customized kid programming online and it’s slated to roll out across multiple platforms soon. I am in the process of testing it and my children are WILD about it. So our television is ONE thing something I may be gaining access to again. Yay!

3. I miss quiet meals. Frankly, I miss most meals but the ones I do eat are rarely quiet or at a decent pace. I do occasionally get a night out with the husband and we take our time savoring every bite and minute of not having to cut up some more meat, pour some more juice, or remove sticky fingers from hair. I know there is a day I will look back on this and wish they still needed me… but today I just don’t want to share my sandwich.

4. I miss the time when clothing was optional. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t run around all nude like all the time before. But some days ya just… well, you just don’t wanna. They force naked time on me running about during a diaper change or after a bath (I swear they could be professional streakers). I don’t have that luxury anymore. Go ahead and judge.

5. I miss not having a curfew. I miss being able to be out with the Minute Made Papa without worrying about a sitter or if the kids are ready to come home yet. Just once I’d like to have a final… and then a final, final. These days one final is all I get. Whiiiich is probably just as well. I guess being a responsible adult is setting a good example. I DO want to do that.

6. Sleeping in. Enough said.

As petty as they seem, I do miss these things from time to time… and as soon as I get a hug or kiss from one of my children, all those small annoyances disappear. What small prices to pay for the gift of raising two beautiful little people. I don’t scold myself for these feelings, after all, I’m human. But I am quickly reminded of the blessings given to me and all is well with my world right here in 2013 — AFTER children.



Another Day of Mourning — A Sad Trend

No longer is there safety in numbers — or alone– or anywhere.

So, today, April 15, 2013 two bombs went off near the finish line at the Boston Marathon and a third near a library. I can’t really give you all the details because I haven’t turned on the news. I can’t turn on the news. I literally cannot stomach any more bad news.

I know I will learn more about it. I know I will cry. I know I will spend countless hours wondering if it was selfish of me to bring to children into a world that is so very violent. I know I will spend even more hours trying to understand what motivates people to do this kind of thing. Why harm innocent people? I mean, I know for all intents and purposes, these are generally sick people, but why does it KEEP happening?

My heart goes out to those injured and the families of those lost. It is yet another senseless tragedy for us to have to try and grasp. I’m so lucky that my children are too young to really comprehend this. I don’t know what I would tell them if they could. If you are facing that situation, here is a list of tips on how to talk to your children about scary news from PBS Parents.

I am not sure of what I should think when going to elementary school, or to see Batman, or a trip to the grocery store presents these types of dangers. I do know it’s time to wake up and rethink things. Our kids deserve better than the things they are having to see.