When my daughter was born, I swore that I would spend every waking second I could teaching her and loving her. I wanted to always be present for my children. I wanted to be the one that wiped every tear and kissed every boo boo. I wanted to make sure all my energy went to making them happy, wholesome, well rounded members of society. In my mind, this meant being a stay-at-home mom which has to be one of the most difficult jobs ever (read about that HERE). After all, how could one work and possibly muster up the energy to be a loving and dedicated mother? The answer? Quite easily.
After one week (that’s right, only one week), I have found that working has made me a better mother and wife and given me a new sense of confidence I have not known since becoming a mom. I feel proud to be contributing financially to my family. My husband is a generous and reliable provider, no doubt. But there is something empowering about bringing in my own money and being able to bankroll some of my own desires as well as things for the family.
I have also found a great amount of joy in having a purpose outside of our household. While the clerical side of my job may not sound very exciting, the writing and marketing aspects are thrilling and will allow me to spread my social butterfly wings. I need that. It makes me feel normal again. I need that too. I am rediscovering the adult in me — the adult that exists beyond the realm of motherhood and all things domestic. I am tapping into that part of me I was desperate to know again. And I’m better for it.
So all in all, I was wrong about having to stay-at-home to be a loving and dedicated mother. I considered all the things one must think about before returning to work. I realize while I was fortunate enough to stay with both my babies their first two years, I feel very blessed in being able to return to work. I am not any less loving or caring a mom because I work a job. If anything, I am a better one. I am morphing into the type of person I want them to see. Not just employed but happy and fulfilled. My truth is that staying at home simply was not enough for me and it was not taking care of myself. Now I can take care of myself and them too. That’s a peace of mind like none other.